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[NEWS] eBay Purchases Federal Reserve System
WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup
us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications this has for the coin and currency collecting public??? =========================================== San Jose, CA (API) ..... April 1, 2004 ..... EBAY PURCHASES FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM eBay (NASDAQ: EBAY), the world's leading person-to-person auction network, announced today that it has reached an Agreement In Principle to purchase the Federal Reserve System for an undisclosed amount of cash and stock. eBay CEO Margaret (Meg) Whitman stated that eBay became aware late in 2003 that some eBay users were using cash and checks to pay for their auction purchases rather than using the eBay in-house PayPal transaction payment system. "Since eBay did not receive a percentage of these cash and check transactions", Whitman said, "we regarded this as a type of 'fee avoidance' and took steps to remedy the problem. Effective on May 1, 2004, all checks processed through the Federal Reserve System, which incidentally will be renamed 'eFed', will be subject to a transaction convenience fee of 25c plus 1.1% of the amount of the check. Also, all cash delivered to any bank or armored car service after that date will be subject to a currency availability fee of $10 plus 0.9% of the amount received. We believe that our new customers will be quite delighted to pay these minimal fees in return for the continued top-notch check and currency services provided by eFed." Whitman also announced that Alan Greenspan will be replaced as Chairman of eFed by her distant cousin, renowned singer Pierre "Slim" Whitman. All other eFed governors will remain in their current positions until appropriate Whitman relatives can be located and appointed to fill their positions. Changes in the Federal Reserve Notes, to be renamed Meg-a-bucks in the near future, will also be made. A new $100,000 Meg-a-buck Note will be introduced featuring the portrait of Whitman's great-great-great-great- great-great-great-grandfather Walt Whitman. Additionally, a $1,000,000 Meg-a-buck Note will also be introduced, to feature Ms. Whitman herself. "It will make identification easy", Whitman explained, "since I'll just have to point to the portrait and say 'Look, it's me!' if I'm questioned by a cashier when trying to spend one of the notes. Melinda Gates might have a little more trouble spending one of these, but she could have had Bill buy eFed if she wanted to avoid the hassle." eBay stock rose 3.2% to $88.88 per share on the news. Stock in the Federal Reserve System is not publicly traded. == 30 = -- Ken Barr Numismatics P. O. Box 32541 website: http://www.kenbarr.com San Jose, CA 95152 (souvenir cards, MPC, Hickey Bros tokens) 408-272-3247 Next show: Santa Clara 04/01-04 w/Mac's Coins (#437) ADVANCED NOTICE: ANA World's Fair of Money, San Jose, CA 7/27-31/2005 |
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Ken Barr wrote:
WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications this has for the coin and currency collecting public??? =========================================== San Jose, CA (API) ..... April 1, 2004 ..... EBAY PURCHASES FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM eBay (NASDAQ: EBAY), the world's leading person-to-person auction network, announced today that it has reached an Agreement In Principle to purchase the Federal Reserve System for an undisclosed amount of cash and stock. eBay CEO Margaret (Meg) Whitman stated that eBay became aware late in 2003 that some eBay users were using cash and checks to pay for their auction purchases rather than using the eBay in-house PayPal transaction payment system. "Since eBay did not receive a percentage of these cash and check transactions", Whitman said, "we regarded this as a type of 'fee avoidance' and took steps to remedy the problem. Effective on May 1, 2004, all checks processed through the Federal Reserve System, which incidentally will be renamed 'eFed', will be subject to a transaction convenience fee of 25c plus 1.1% of the amount of the check. Also, all cash delivered to any bank or armored car service after that date will be subject to a currency availability fee of $10 plus 0.9% of the amount received. We believe that our new customers will be quite delighted to pay these minimal fees in return for the continued top-notch check and currency services provided by eFed." Whitman also announced that Alan Greenspan will be replaced as Chairman of eFed by her distant cousin, renowned singer Pierre "Slim" Whitman. All other eFed governors will remain in their current positions until appropriate Whitman relatives can be located and appointed to fill their positions. Changes in the Federal Reserve Notes, to be renamed Meg-a-bucks in the near future, will also be made. A new $100,000 Meg-a-buck Note will be introduced featuring the portrait of Whitman's great-great-great-great- great-great-great-grandfather Walt Whitman. Additionally, a $1,000,000 Meg-a-buck Note will also be introduced, to feature Ms. Whitman herself. "It will make identification easy", Whitman explained, "since I'll just have to point to the portrait and say 'Look, it's me!' if I'm questioned by a cashier when trying to spend one of the notes. Melinda Gates might have a little more trouble spending one of these, but she could have had Bill buy eFed if she wanted to avoid the hassle." eBay stock rose 3.2% to $88.88 per share on the news. Stock in the Federal Reserve System is not publicly traded. == 30 = ahem.... APRIL FOOL Winde 'chuckling' |
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"Ken Barr" wrote in message ... WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications this has for the coin and currency collecting public??? =========================================== San Jose, CA (API) ..... April 1, 2004 ..... EBAY PURCHASES FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM eBay (NASDAQ: EBAY), the world's leading person-to-person auction network, announced today that it has reached an Agreement In Principle to purchase the Federal Reserve System for an undisclosed amount of cash and stock. snip Sadly, my longitude has taken the edge of this posting. My ISP records its posting time as 6:27 pm on 1 April, 2004. ;-( I'll have to rely on someone much further west of here to make a meaningful comment. (next time, Ken?) -- Jeff |
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In article , Ken Barr
writes: WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications this has for the coin and currency collecting public??? Nice try, Ken. Thanks for playing. Next? Dondi3 DONDI enterprises. BUY, SELL, TRADE. RARE COINS & PRECIOUS METALS Member COINNET, CSNS, ANA, INA, MOON, ILNA. |
#5
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"Ken Barr" wrote in message ... WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications this has for the coin and currency collecting public??? =========================================== San Jose, CA (API) ..... April 1, 2004 ..... EBAY PURCHASES FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM Changes in the Federal Reserve Notes, to be renamed Meg-a-bucks in the near future, will also be made. Shouldn't that be "Meg-e-bucks"? Dale -- My site: http://www.austriancoins.com Nothing for sale, Information about Austrian coins, medals and tokens. |
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