Ken Barr wrote:

WOW! I just found the following article posted in the newsgroup
us.government.transactions.today. I wonder what implications
this has for the coin and currency collecting public???

===========================================

San Jose, CA (API) ..... April 1, 2004 .....

EBAY PURCHASES FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM

eBay (NASDAQ: EBAY), the world's leading person-to-person auction
network, announced today that it has reached an Agreement In Principle
to purchase the Federal Reserve System for an undisclosed amount of
cash and stock.

eBay CEO Margaret (Meg) Whitman stated that eBay became aware late in
2003 that some eBay users were using cash and checks to pay for their
auction purchases rather than using the eBay in-house PayPal transaction
payment system. "Since eBay did not receive a percentage of these cash
and check transactions", Whitman said, "we regarded this as a type of
'fee avoidance' and took steps to remedy the problem. Effective on
May 1, 2004, all checks processed through the Federal Reserve System,
which incidentally will be renamed 'eFed', will be subject to a
transaction convenience fee of 25c plus 1.1% of the amount of the check.
Also, all cash delivered to any bank or armored car service after that
date will be subject to a currency availability fee of $10 plus 0.9% of
the amount received. We believe that our new customers will be quite
delighted to pay these minimal fees in return for the continued top-notch
check and currency services provided by eFed."

Whitman also announced that Alan Greenspan will be replaced as Chairman
of eFed by her distant cousin, renowned singer Pierre "Slim" Whitman.
All other eFed governors will remain in their current positions until
appropriate Whitman relatives can be located and appointed to fill
their positions.

Changes in the Federal Reserve Notes, to be renamed Meg-a-bucks in the
near future, will also be made. A new $100,000 Meg-a-buck Note will be
introduced featuring the portrait of Whitman's great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-grandfather Walt Whitman. Additionally, a $1,000,000
Meg-a-buck Note will also be introduced, to feature Ms. Whitman herself.
"It will make identification easy", Whitman explained, "since I'll just
have to point to the portrait and say 'Look, it's me!' if I'm questioned
by a cashier when trying to spend one of the notes. Melinda Gates might
have a little more trouble spending one of these, but she could have had
Bill buy eFed if she wanted to avoid the hassle."

eBay stock rose 3.2% to $88.88 per share on the news. Stock in the
Federal Reserve System is not publicly traded.

== 30 =

ahem....
APRIL FOOL

Winde
'chuckling'